Despite some earlier financial problems Donald Trump is by any definition a very wealthy man.

His empire -in which almost everything seems to be named “Trump” this, or that – includes hotels, casinos, golf courses and many other properties.

Trump also owns two sizable media properties, the NBC show “Celebrity Apprentice”, which we have watched probably a grand total of about five minutes one time, out of sheer boredom, while flipping channels and the “Miss USA” pageant.

The former got switched off as soon as the Donald entered in his inevitable suit and we got a good look at his hairdo. This generated a very audible “geez” from another family member causing the channel to get switched almost immediately to something else.

The “Miss USA” pageant – which we never even watched for a microsecond, generated an almost sickening amount of publicity after Miss California Carrie Prejean’s scantily clad photos surfaced. Her comments on gay marriage also stirred the tabloid’s emotions.

In any case – and we are still not sure why – Donald Trump made a lengthy, televised speech, followed by an incoherent speech by Carrie Prejean.

Trump called the ‘Miss USA” and the “Miss Universe” pageants as “relevant”. To whom, we wonder?

These shows are so crappy that we haven’t bothered to watch any in a very long time.

We would like to suggest some replacements for these spectacles. How about something along the lines of “A Total Hair Makeover in a Bordello”, or “The Gay Barber’s Eye for the Straight Guy”?

Technorati Tags: Donald Trump, hair, hairdresser, kitsch, Miss USA, money, pageant, tastlessness, tv

The latest stimulus bill contains some $8 billion for developing high-speed passenger rail service – much too little, in our opinion.

Despite the fact that the United States still has the largest rail network in the world, unlike many other developed and even undeveloped countries, our passenger rail service leaves a whole lot to be desired, mainly because it is more profitable for the railroads to carry freight, rather than people. Read more on that in our guest post at  Phuck Politics.

The funny thing about the project is that despite some real need to improve the passenger rail service in the Northeast Corridor, between Washington, New York and Boston where the Amtrak Acela service crawls along, instead of flying, there are some other plans afoot.

Why aren’t the Acelas flying, you might ask? The reason is rather simple: the Acela trains were actually built four inches (10cm) wider than they should, reducing the permissible tilt on the turns from 6.5 to 4.2 degrees, effectively reducing the speed on large sections of the Northeast Corridor. At issue is basically the fact that it has been determined that a more pronounced tilt, at a higher speed could be dangerous if two trains were traveling in opposite directions on the same turn. So, the Washington, to Boston trip, which could have and should have taken just over three hours, if everything was copasetic, takes over six hours. That is not high-speed rail by our definition, not in the 21^st century, anyway.

There are also many other needed route improvements throughout the U.S., including in the Midwest and along the West Coast. All of those seemed to have been dwarfed by the urgent need to build a 300 mph magnetic levitation train (maglev) – similar to the German/Chinese super-fast route in Shanghai – from Disneyland, to Las Vegas.

Just think what a super-fast and the world’s longest so far maglev rail line between the cute, but kitschy Magic Kingdom and the not so cute and even kitschier Sin City could do to improve our dire passenger rail situation. Sounds like a great idea. Don’t you think? I am already trying to envision Mickey Mouse, dressed as a Nevada hooker, with gambler’s gold bracelets and chains here. That logo could and should be prominently displayed on the new trains, so there is absolutely no doubt about what we are dealing with here. Are you listening Harry Reid? Did you coordinate this great idea with Amtrak Joe first?

Is the line going to include extensions, leading high-speed trains to the whorehouses of Nevada as well? We sure hope so. Just think of all of those needy customers, already pumped up with Viagra, Levitra and other erectile dysfunction remedies rushing along, trying to make it there under four hours. We all have heard warnings that “if your erection lasts more than four hours, get medical help right away”. Maybe the trains should have fully staffed onboard emergency rooms? The Cleveland Clinic warns that: “Priapism is a persistent, usually painful, erection that lasts for more than four hours and occurs without sexual stimulation. The condition develops when blood in the penis becomes trapped and unable to drain. If the condition is not treated immediately, it can lead to scarring and permanent erectile dysfunction.”

Those trains better be fast and on time. We would hate to see all of those gold chain and bracelet-wearing dumbos develop any “scarring and permanent erectile dysfunction”. That might negatively impact the Nevada whorehouse industry and along with that the all-important casino enterprises, which by the way did not appear to receive any DIRECT financial assistance from the stimulus bill so far, with the exception of the possibility of the magnetic levitation rail line, of course.

Viva Viagra!

Technorati Tags: disneyland, hookers, kitsch, las vegas, levitra, maglev, magnetic levitation, protitution, rail, train, viagra, whore houses

We realize that the election of Barack Obama to the office of the President of the United States of America is indeed a big deal and we also look forward to big, positive changes during his upcoming terms.

It is also quite understandable that a great many people – not just in the U.S., but also throughout the world are excited about it. He is after all the first mixed-race president of the U.S. of A and he has the unenviable task of fixing all the damage that the eight years of the Bush 43 presidency have caused around the world. We suppose there is no need to list all of the matters here again, since practically all of us know them in considerable detail.

What galls us to no end though is the shameless commercialism and often tasteless opportunism that has sprouted, particularly (but not only) in the Washington, DC area.

People arriving at any of the area airports are greeted immediately by Obama souvenir shops, where they can buy Obama t-shirts, plates, mugs, buttons, pens, hats, towels, place mats and absolutely horrible, but for some reason extremely popular Obama dolls.

Vice President Joe Biden also figures quite prominently among the inaugural merchandise, but most of the shops, street stands and on-line peddlers seem to defy the economic downturn, by selling huge amounts of all kinds of Barack Obama trinkets – most of which seem to be made in China.

There is so much tasteless crap offered for sale, that we are tempted to start something along the lines of an Inaugural Kitsch Museum. There is a bewildering array of cheesy presidential trinkets hidden away in many people’s collections, which could be housed in such an institution. I clearly remember the Nixon toilet paper, which appeared on the market soon after the Watergate affair was uncovered and there must be tons of other, equally tasteless, items gathering dust in people’s attics.

There is no doubt that the Obama-Biden inauguration has prompted many more manufacturers and vendors to produce and offer for sale crap of a particularly tasteless quality and in totally unprecedented quantities. Even that paragon of “taste”, the Bloomingdale’s department store in Northern Virginia’s Tyson’s Corner Mall advertises an “Obama Memorabilia Shop” on their upper floor.

Obama merchandise seems to be everywhere. Maybe along with the 7,000 rented, portable toilets, deployed along and around the National Mall, the sale of the inaugural crap to the gullible will do wonders to lift our economy from the gutter. Considering the often Chinese origins of the merchandise, we wonder who’s economy will be helped the most…

In any case, we wish the Obama-Biden administration the very best and despite some questionable cabinet picks, along with the rest of the world, hold very high hopes for their tenure.

Technorati Tags: commercialism, dolls, kitsch, mugs, obama, plates, shameless