Considering the two recent, and failed shoe throwing incidents, we would like to propose creating a new, special breed of effective, accurate, aerodynamic shoes, that would actually hit their intended target.

Our beloved and ever quick ex president George W (for wacko) Bush successfully ducked both shoes thrown at him during a Baghdad press conference by Iraqi journalist Muntadar al-Zeidi.

Mr. al-Zaidi, despite the almost universal, worldwide admiration expressed for his attempt was thrown in jail by the puppet Iraqi government.

The Iraqi people thought otherwise and assisted by kids at the Tikrit Orphanage, sculptor Laith al-Amiri has erected a huge brown replica of one of the shoes hurled by al-Zaidi. Shortly afterwards the monument was removed after a request from the central government, which has charges pending against al-Zaidi – now in an Iraqi jail.

It appears that shoe throwing is enjoying a revival of sorts, as Chinese Premier Wen Jiabao was the target of a flying shoe just a few days ago.

Wen was concluding a speech at the University of Cambridge when a man stood up, blew a whistle, and shouted, “How can the university prostitute itself with this dictator? How can you listen to these lies?”

He then apparently took off one shoe and hurled it at the premier.

Mr. Wen did not need the ninja-like moves displayed by Bush, as the shoe did not come even close to its target.

To make a long story short:  if this admirable, but so far unsuccessful trend is to continue and develop, much better designed shoes will be necessary. We cannot afford to suffer through another miss on war criminals, mass murderers, child killers and other such scum. The shoe must hit its target squarely, surely and hard enough to cause some real, palpable damage. Anything less would not only be a damn shame, but also a waste of otherwise perfectly good footwear.

After spending a serious amount of time researching the subject in our state of the art Politicus.U.S. Laboratory and after extensive testing (no animals were used, or hurt in the process) we have finally reached the point where we can offer an excellent product to anyone contemplating a career in shoe throwing. Our creation is guaranteed to fly straight and true – providing of course that the thrower is properly qualified and licensed – and to hit the intended target straight in the kisser, or any other sensitive area.

The aerodynamic qualities of the projectile are enhanced by a brace of genuine pheasant feathers, firmly attached to the heel section of the weapon.

We ship worldwide. Despite considerable expenses incurred during our extensive R&D process, we are able to offer the flying shoes, model FS-2009 at the very reasonable price of only $139.95 each and $270.99 for a pair. Our in house experts recommend bringing two shoes to the event in order to maximize chances of success.

Users able to provide notarized proof of double target strikes qualify for a 20 percent discount on future purchases.

We accept most major credit cards, certified checks and cash – preferably euros. Paypal payments are also accepted.

Any attempts to copy, clone, or imitate our products constitute a serious violation of international copyright laws and will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

Technorati Tags: accurate, bush, dead, iraq, maliki, Muntadar al-Zeidi, new, shoes, thrown, war, wen jiabao

President George W. Bush made a farewell visit to Iraq today. He met with Iraqi officials and with U.S. troops.

The highlight of his probably last visit to Iraq as the U.S. commander-in-chief appears to be not the signing of the U.S.-Iraqi security agreement, nor the meeting with American troops at Camp Victory (doesn’t that remind you a little of the “Mission Accomplished” banner?),  but the Baghdad press conference with Iraq’s Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki.

All of a sudden, one of Iraqi journalists present at the event wound up and threw his shoes at President Bush – first one, quickly followed by the other.

Bush ducked quickly and wasn’t hit, but it was a close call.

In Arab culture, throwing shoes is a grave show of disrespect. “This is the farewell kiss, you dog,” the man shouted in Arabic. “This is from the widows, the orphans and those who were killed in Iraq,” shouted the man identified by the Associated Press as Muntadar al-Zeidi, a correspondent for Al-Baghdadia television, an Iraqi- owned station based in Cairo.

The shoe-thrower was wrestled to the ground and taken away.

It should be noted that Mr. Bush showed some sangfroid after the incident, shrugging his shoulders and saying “I’m OK. “All I can report is it is a size 10.”

Technorati Tags: bush, iraq, maliki, Muntadar al-Zeidi, shoes, thrown, war